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Over-stimulation

Frazzled, exhausted, defeated, I climb into my chilled bed begging sleep’s solace.  Even dream disturbed rest would suffice.  Lying curled up under layer upon layer of blankets, my weary, restless body freezes.  I close my eyes attempting slumber.  Alas, this morning’s coffee is still ping-ponging around my body. My muscles burst and twitch as I force artificial stillness.  Feeling the minutes evaporate and near tears I ponder giving in and getting up.   Two months ago, no amount of caffeine would have kept me from sleep.  Perhaps I’m not as tired as I think I am; perhaps my body has readjusted to lack of sleep as it has countless times to life’s changes.  Though I lay stubbornly awake I can’t move; I don’t want to.  If I get up and try to be productive I will need more coffee to have the necessary energy to accomplish anything.  Like my body, my mind is ill at ease, tired and at odds with itself, struggling to fulfill my obligations without sacrificing happiness and without forgetting to enjoy my family and my life.  Struggling to regain control over something I once pretended I held control over.  I continue my immobile vigil as tumultuous thoughts drain all my remaining fuel.  In my forceful pursuit of respite, I feel the constraints of time release me, my mind and body slip into the space between minutes.  Letting go, I unbeknownst to me drift off.

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6 thoughts on “Over-stimulation

  1. Timothy Kasminoff says:

    “I continue my immobile vigil as tumultuous thoughts drain all my remaining fuel. In my forceful pursuit of respite, I feel the constraints of time release me, my mind and body slip into the space between minutes. Letting go, I unbeknownst to me drift off.”

    I can’t tell you how many times this happens to me.

    PS
    “my mind and body slip into the space between minutes” is a wonderful line.

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